First, I want to give a shout out to Amanda @ RunningwithSpoons for the link up.

Its #thinkingoutloud Thursday!

This Thursday's post is not about multiple thoughts going on in my head, but one major thought instead...

Does the picture explain your life too?  It is my main thought going on in my head this morning...

Having a 15-mo old BOY is absolutely F-U-N, but it does come with some consequences.  He is adventurous, and that means all of my belongings are now his to explore and test out.  He has a temper, which means when you say the word "no," he will throw himself out on the floor in a fit of rage.  He loves water, so while you are trying to shower for work, he will walk in there so that you have to clean him up too (even though he bathed last night). Oh, and he loves colors, which mean he will test all of your lipstick colors on his shirt before daycare, ensuring you must change his clothes...AGAIN before daycare, with all that ample time you have.

Catch my drift?  I love this little man to pieces but it does make for an interesting morning at the zoo (our house).  Typically, during the week, we wake Ryan up at 6:45 and then get him ready to leave for daycare.  I get up about an hour earlier so that I can have uninterrupted time to get ready.  Let me repeat the million dollar word.... UNINTERRUPTED.  However, there are days (most days lately) when he decides to get up wayyy early to hang out with me while I am trying to get ready.  

Like this morning.  Ryan work up super early (right as I started to get ready) and some how managed to reach up and pull down some pictures hanging on his wall.  Great, just great.  I heard a loud bang, ran upstairs, and saw him laughing and pointing at the picture that had fallen to the ground.  Just superb.  I got him dressed for the day, gave him some milk, and brought him in the bathroom with me so I could keep an eye on him while I got ready.  That was like giving him an invitation to Disney World.  He was stoked.  Here, he had everything he could ever want to play with that he knows he is not allowed to play with.  And it wasn't like I could lock the cabinets...I needed to get in there, I was using everything.  So, after attempting to crawl in the shower with me while nicely dressed in his clothes for the day, he settled with pulling out every hair and makeup product I own and throw them around.  

Then he found the stash of lipsticks and settled on playing with those.  I was running a little behind and while I was trying to pull everything away from him, I didn't make it in time for him to take my lipsticks and smear them on his shirt.  I am happy that my son loves abstract art, but not at 6 AM, and not on his shirt.  When I took them away, he freaked, threw himself out on the floor, and fussed at me in his baby language.   

 

Want to know why he has a bruise on his cheek?  That "throw himself out" thing I was talking about above, yep, it's because of that.  The bruise happened a few days ago at daycare when they asked him to sit on the carpet while the teacher cleaned a mess, and Ryan threw himself out mad.  The kid will learn eventually....

Back to this morn... so after I cleaned him and changed his clothes, I looked down at my poor lipsticks and saw that my child also stuck his fingers down the tubes so everything is a jumbled, squishy mess. Excellent.  Oh, and to top it off, he stashed one of my "go-to" lipsticks somewhere, and I cannot find it for the life of me.

So as I drove in to work this morning, slowly sipping my coffee and taking deep breaths, I realized a couple things: 1) If I didn't realize it before, I do now...there is no "privacy" anymore.  No more getting ready with out toddler distractions. 2) My child is out to get me.


XOXO,
Sherri


Questions:
Any crazy thing your toddler has done?

Any idea of how to teach my child not to throw himself out on the floor in fits of rage?

Know how to remold lipsticks?

It's been a year and I miss you more and more.

For years I loved April Fools Day, and one of the best pranks I ever pulled was hiding under my desk at my old sales job and having the VP and my co-workers convince my boss I had just up and quit.  I had packed my desk up and hid the box under a co-workers desk while listening to my boss frantically try and call me and search the parking lot for my car.  I know it sounds so mean and a harsh joke, I worked in a very fun and laid-back office and our boss would constantly joke with and on us too.

But last year, that day, such a fun prankster day, changed for me.  I lost my beautiful Nana on 4/1/2014...this day, last year.  I reflect back to that day and the days that followed, remembering the raw emotions our family felt and being there for my mother, who had just lost her best friend.  It is never easy losing someone you love, and while life goes on and the pain gets better, I find myself missing her more and more every day.

She was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer right after Thanksgiving 2013, a month before my son was born.  And she fought her battle with courage, strength, and love during those last short months.  I will never forget her crying and telling my mom she was just sad that she may never get to meet her very first great grandson, my baby boy Ryan.  And honestly, that was one of my biggest fears and heartaches.  Ryan was too young to travel those first months of his life, especially in the dead of winter.  It was hard knowing I was in Tennessee with my new baby, and my Nana was in Virginia fighting for her life.

I had a hard time coping with it. All of our family was able to by her side during those last months, but I was so far away.  I wanted to be there, in every moment, to help her.  We did get to chat via Facetime and she got to see Ryan from afar but it broke my heart that I didn't know if she would make it until we were able to bring Ryan home.

When we knew, the last week of March 2014, that it was the end, I had the mad desire to be there with her in those final moments, to let her know I was there, and to bring Ryan to her.  I couldn't let her go without getting to see her great grandson.  Russell and I packed up the baby and drove 14 hours and made it to her on her very last night she was awake.  Her eyes locked with Ryan, and although she couldn't speak, she smiled.  I gave her one of the things she wanted most, to meet her great grandson. It crushed me that she couldn't hold him, but she locked eyes with him, we placed her hand on him, and savored those moments.  She passed 2 days later.

I miss her.  I miss her terribly.  I watch Ryan grow up and it hurts to know that she isn't here to see it, but I am comforted in knowing that she got to meet him.  And the memories, there are always the wonderful memories.  She was there for my dance recitals, my high school graduation, graduating from college, my wedding, my baby shower.... countless, beautiful memories. She was married to a man she adored, raised 4 children, and loved ALL of her grandchildren (and there are a TON of us).  Her family was her world.

 As this day is a reminder of our family's loss but Heaven's gain, it is also a reminder of our strong love for her, as her memory lives on in our hearts forever.

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven, where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us, to let us know they are happy." - Unknown

XOXO,

Sherri